Trolls

her left.
my right.

The theater

crazy is.

last week exactly

26
too loose
and toulouse

Running

just these red and white blood cells.
to feel connected.
to feel part of something alive, dynamic, and electric.
to feel necessary.

i hope. 

Solace

alone, sunsets, and urban picnics.
so used unfaithful.

Pinky out

at ease my doubt

Fall

why people run away to vegas

In 20 years time

most definitely my mother's daughter

Snus

under the lip

Come on down

Jake!!!

7 pm and thinking

dark room.
bright lights.
big city.

Full

crashing

Trying.

distance in one fucking ruthless bitch

Date night

please stay

Competition

latin america vs. asia.

him vs. i

Souls

haven't posted in about a month and the first day i post again... mountain.

who are you souls? and how beautiful is our connection, stranger?

we must connect somehow.
somehow you understand.

City nights.

let my fire ignite those starless city skies so you may lay on that dewy grass and have something to marvel at.

entertainment is all i am to you?

Hope

dark tunnel,
bright light.

it's been a hard month
but i'm still one lucky girl

to breath what you breath   

to see what you see

to feel what you feel

do you _________ with me too?

Three

it's been a long time

Dead

Deficient and insufficient

something's lacking.
but i'm still breathing.
i'm still here.

Comfort

comfort smells like bacon
... vegan bacon?

Finders keepers

this was meant for me today.

Bright lights and confetti

too much ecstasy to hold up

Sex

not everyone fits

Whole

envy of what it must feel to be whole

Bruce Lee

fuck yeah imma high five bruce lee.

still a tourist in my own city and loving it.

Words that matter

i: oh my god, you don't understand how much I'm loving you right now!

you: girl, i've always been loving you.

i'm the luckiest girl in the world and i've known that since then.

Stumble upon

old love letters that are still so relevant.

i was 19...
now i'm 25

can i learn?

Therapy

bleed and emote

Melt

feel my body
on my paper

Stars.

the stars shone brighter and closer this weekend than ever.

i fear these stars fall. i fear these stars are fake. i fear these stars are plastic.
i fear these stars need more energy. i fear these stars do not belong to me.

i pray these stars give me faith. i pray these stars give me hope.
i pray these stars watch me grow. i pray these stars are for me.

will these stars still shine tomorrow... the next day... the next day... the next day...?
i fear not
i pray so
i believe anything

i believe in pain
i believe in guilt
i believe in stars

Moral support

i ask myself "what the fuck am i doing"?

they yell at me "what the fuck are you doing"?!

Password: ultimate

who would've guessed we were all arguing before this was taken?!

happy birthday brent and here's to no more bad decisions and us growing old together.

Nature

peace and company must come naturally...

i'm scared it may not.
i'm hopeful it can.

Trust

Apt 517,

at 4:45am, i could've invited myself in,  had breakfast, and stolen some underwear... tsk, tsk for nice neighbors...

except i've already stolen a piece of fruit from the farmers market basket left on your doorstep every thursday.

i do feel bad...
but at least you got to keep your underwear today.

2008

five years ago, i wrote this... amongst other deathly things.
four hours ago, i found this... hidden deep so i'd forget.

tonight, the stars are just as beautiful...
... even from where i stand.

finally, life is so much more beautiful than the stars.
i don't mind seeing them from this distance anymore.

one day, i will be closer to them, and what a sight they'll be.
but right now, I'm content looking at them from here.

with my heart still beating.
with my blood still warm.
with my eyes still open.
with my selfish wounds healing.

Transportation devices and ray guns

if you want to go fast,
go alone.
if you want to go far,
go together.

words i've read months ago,
but only realized these past few weeks what it truly meant.

maybe it's time to go together.

Distractions

no distraction is enough when my mind's so conditioned

but someone must trust

Pages

pages full of thoughts...
pages full of philosophy...
pages full of dirt...
pages full of beauty...
pages full of potential...
pages full of apology...
pages full of confession...
pages full of epiphany...
pages full of love...
pages full of hate...
pages full of hope.

all 11 pages.

the flaming lips

at the o.c fair,
the sound they made was love.

psychedelica sound waves is wednesday.

venice

walking through venice always makes me jealous...

i should live this life.
i should make this art.
i should have dreads.
i should make love in a van.

sugar

sights of the hollywood hills
with the sounds of system of a down.

head banging at the hollywood bowl is monday.

sd to la

the best thing to come from pain?

this new family.
who saved me.

no need for me to worry anymore.
the universe really is taking care of me.

and it gave me the best weekend i've had in a while.

we must

but it has gotten to be too hard...
but still, i know, one day we must

is there anything as meaningful as belief?
anything as discouraging as mistrust?

dolla bill

"went to get you nyquil.
tried to wake you
brb <3"

you're sweet.
naive to this game,
but very sweet.
i'm pretty naive to this game also.

she laughs

apparently bounce houses aren't considered an extreme sport...

but swindling money from the drunk unsuspected is one we can both play and win...

sexuality

reanalyze... rediscover... sexuality.

pansexual/ omnisexual- attraction regardless of gender. gender blind.
... i see no gender.
... i see no significance.
... i see no dick.
... i see no pussy.
... i feel your warmth.

demisexual- the need for a strong emotional connection in order to feel sexual attraction.
... i can't just fuck you.
... can i get inside you before i get inside you?
... your pain makes you human. i love humans.
... your optimism makes you sexy. you're too sexy.
... your tears makes you vulnerable. we'll both be vulnerable in the shower.

sapiosexual- finding sexual attraction to the intelligence of others
... your philosophy makes me wet.
... you make me think differently.
... i want to undress your mind, not fuck with it.
... i want to learn from you.
... fuck you're beautiful.

daydream

day dreamer...

can't lie... today i needed to run again.
looked up to the sky, saw the ether and there i ran for bit.

no worries if there's no one to run with...
or no one to wish you were there with.

we don't have to run together...
i don't really know if we ever had.
today i selfishly run.

with my shoes off, i drop to the grass, look straight and run away.
i do what i do best.

i will always run...
to you, to me
always away from you, away from me.

lovers...

the first two of our group madly in love with each other to get married...

the other two are just too gay to function.

after all the shit of love and hurt is said and done...
It's beautiful that people are so madly in love because somewhere in the mix love still feels good...

who am i still in love with?
this dysfunctional family... after 8 amazing years of love and hurt.
that's enough for me.

friends

reasons to smile and just absolutely love life...

- these beautiful friends
- one fucking beautiful girl... who thinks I'm beautiful too.
-my friends telling me that this is the happiest they've seen me in forever.

i'm blessed to have people in my life happy that I'm finally happy...
and all i want to do is do whatever i can to make her happy.